Wednesday, July 18, 2012


Douglas Eby.jpg

Today I have the pleasure of interviewing Douglas Eby,
M.A./Psychology, who is a writer and researcher on the psychology of creative
expression, high ability and personal growth. He is creator of the Talent
Development Resources series of sites (
at I know many of you are “highly sensitive” and enjoy articles on that topic, so I am excited to pique his highly-sensitive brain today!

Question: If you had to name the top five gifts of being highly sensitive, what would they be?
1. Sensory detail
One of the prominent “virtues” of high sensitivity is the richness of sensory detail that life provides. The subtle shades of texture in clothing, and foods when cooking, the sounds of music or even traffic or people talking, fragrances and colors of nature. All of these may be more intense for highly sensitive people.
Of course, people are not simply “sensitive” or “not sensitive” — like other qualities and traits, it’s a matter of degree.
Years ago, I took a color discrimination test to work as a photographic technician, making color prints. The manager said I’d scored better, with more subtle distinctions between hues in the test charts, than anyone he had evaluated.
That kind of response to color makes visual experience rich and exciting, and can help visual artists and designers be even more excellent.
2. Nuances in meaning
The trait of high sensitivity also includes a strong tendency to be aware of nuances in meaning, and to be more cautious about taking action, and to more carefully consider options and possible outcomes.
3. Emotional awareness
We also tend to be more aware of our inner emotional states, which can make for richer and more profound creative work as writers, musicians, actors or other artists.
A greater response to pain, discomfort, and physical experience can mean sensitive people have the potential, at least, to take better care of their health.
4. Creativity
Psychologist Elaine Aron, author of The Highly Sensitive Person,estimates about twenty percent of people are highly sensitive, and seventy percent of those are introverted, which is a trait that can also encourage creativity.
As examples, there are many actors who say they are shy, and director Kathryn Bigelow, who recently won an Academy Award, has said, “I’m kind of very shy by nature.” The star of her movie The Hurt Locker, Jeremy Renner (who was reportedly shy as a child), has commented that “in social situations she can be painfully shy.”
5. Greater empathy
High sensitivity to other people’s emotions can be a powerful asset for teachers, managers, therapists and others.
Question: And, if you had to name five curses, what would they be? And how best do we overcome them or co-exist with them?
1. Easily overwhelmed, overstimulated
The biggest challenge in high sensitivity is probably being vulnerable to sensory or emotional overwhelm. Taking in and processing so much information from both inner and outer worlds can be “too much” at times and result in more pain, fatigue, stress, anxiety and other reactions.
An intriguing neuroscience research study I came across that may explain some of this said people with nervous systems having decreased latent inhibition are more open to incoming stimuli. Which can be a good thing, or not so good.
Actor Amy Brenneman once commented, “I’m too sensitive to watch most of the reality shows. It’s so painful for me.”
That kind of pain or discomfort can mean we don’t choose to experience some things that might actually be fun or enriching. Though I don’t mean reality shows.
2. Affected by emotions of others
Another aspect of sensitivity can be reacting to the emotions — and perhaps thoughts — of others. Being in the vicinity of angry people, for example, can be more distressing.
As actor Scarlett Johansson once put it, “Sometimes that awareness is good, and sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive.”
3. Need lots of space and time to ourselves
We may need to “retreat” and emotionally “refresh” ourselves at times that are not always best for our goals or personal growth. For example, being at a professional development conference, it may not be the most helpful thing to leave a long presentation or workshop in order to recuperate from the emotional intensity of the crowd.
4. Unhealthy perfectionism
There can also be qualities of thinking or analyzing that lead to unhealthy perfectionism, or stressful responses to objects, people or situations that are “too much” or “wrong” for our sensitivities.
5. Living out of sync with our culture
Living in a culture that devalues sensitivity and introversion as much as the U.S. means there are many pressures to be “normal” — meaning extroverted, sociable and outgoing.
Dr. Ted Zeff, author of The Highly Sensitive Person’s Survival Guide, points out that other cultures, such as Thailand, have different attitudes, with a strong appreciation of sensitive or introverted people.
Jenna Avery, a “life coach for sensitive souls,” counsels people to accept or even pursue being “out of sync” with mainstream society, and be aware of other’s judgments of people as too sensitive, too emotional, or too dramatic.
And if we are sensitive, we may use those kinds of judgments against ourselves, and think, as Winona Ryder said she did at one time, “Maybe I’m too sensitive for this world.”
Certainly, there are extremes of emotions that are considered mood disorders, for example, and should be dealt with as a health challenge.
But “too emotional” or “too sensitive” are usually criticisms based on majority behavior and standards.
Overall, I think being highly sensitive is a trait we can embrace and use to be more creative and aware. But it demands taking care to live strategically, even outside popular values, to avoid overwhelm so we can better nurture our abilities and creative talents.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Aspie Test Score


Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Emails From The Dead

Emails from dead man’s account helping family and friends find closure
By Eric Pfeiffer | The Sideshow

When Jack Froese, 32, died of a heart arrhythmia in June 2011, he left behind a number of grieving friends and family members. But the BBC reports that several mysterious posthumous emails from Froese's account have brought some happiness and closure to those who were closest to him.

Last November, five months after Froese's death, his childhood best friend Tim Hart received an email from Froese's account.

"One night in November, I was sitting on my couch, going through my emails on my phone and it popped up, 'sender: Jack Froese.' I turned ghost white when I read it," Hart told the BBC. "It was very quick and short but to a point that only Jack and I could relate on."

The email had the subject heading, "I'm Watching." While the text of the message itself read, "Did you hear me? I'm at your house. Clean your f***ing attic!!!"

Hart says that shortly before Froese's death, the two had a private conversation in Hart's attic, during which Froese teased him over the attic's messy state. "Just he and I up there. That's it," Hart said.

Froese's cousin Jimmy McGraw also claims to have received a posthumous email from Froese, warning him about an ankle injury that occurred after his cousin's death.

"I'd like to say Jack sent it, just because I look at it as he's gone, but he's still trying to connect with me. Trying to tell me to move along, to feel better," McGraw said.

For now, the source of the emails remains a mystery. But that's OK with Hart, who says that even if the emails are coming from a cruel prankster who has hacked Froese's account, he doesn't mind. "If somebody's joking around, I don't care because I take it whatever way I want," he said.

What's interesting and unique about this case is that the emails all had a personal touch. There have been several reported cases of emails sent from a deceased person's account, but those usually can be easily traced back to spam accounts that have accessed the deceased person's information.

Facebook has had somewhat similar problems for several years, with the social networking site sending automated notifications encouraging users to "reconnect" with the accounts of users who have died. Under normal circumstance, the feature is meant to help connect users who travel in similar social circles. In an 2010 New York Times story, Facebook said it was actively addressing how best to handle accounts belonging to users who have died.

And there are even options for those who would intentionally like to send emails from beyond the grave. The website Dead Man's Switch, lets you write email drafts that will be sent to a group of preselected recipients after your death. The site explains exactly how they're able to know when to send the emails:

"The emails are sent at certain intervals. By default, the switch will email you 30, 45, and 52 days after you last showed signs of life. If you don't respond to any of those emails, all your messages will be sent 60 days after your last check-in."

And if you're simply looking for advice on preparing for your Web-based afterlife, the site Digital Beyond offers ongoing tips about preparing your online identity for after your death.

Tuesday, November 15, 2011


Steps to telling a magic story!

Examine yourself in depth, and then look/listen/examine the actions of other people who you admire! Then Practice, Practice, Practice being your true self!
“M-A-G-I-C” Motivating- when telling a story, make sure you become part of the team, or in the same boat as your audience. Audience – the audience is anyone willing to listen to you, why are they listening? Take the time to know your audience and give them what they want! Be Generous of heart! Show your true inner passion and give your audience your full energy. Interactivity- Make sure your audience members are active participants, not just passengers in your story; encourage questions! Content- Content is important; the best content is your own experience. Including personal experience in a story helps the audience become emotionally involved. Magic happens when your story becomes your audience’s story as well. All of a sudden your dreams become their goals. What more could you want?


Monday, November 14, 2011

The Multitasking Dog

I love this! Look at the dog's focus. I admire the fact the dog can keep focused even with major distractions. Gotta love it!